Five Lazy Last Minute Halloween Tips (2024 Version)

🎃 Did October slip by too fast? Running out of time for all the fall fun? Read on.

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A tissue ghost, an old ceramic pumpkin, and a backyard fire pit. Feeling seasonal.

“My Halloween costume was so bad that people opened their doors and took candy from me.”—Glen Nesbitt

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Do you remember when Halloween was…trick-or-treating in a costume? And that was it? The thrill of it all.

Today, Halloween is now a months-long celebration. Yet many of us still aren’t prepared, or have been too busy with work and life to sit down and savor the holiday. The Seasonalist is here to the rescue!

In the spirit of “Last Minute,” aka “Lazy,” I am repurposing last year’s newsletter because WHO HAS TIME?

If you haven’t decorated your house or bought any candy, then you are in the right place for a last-minute “how to enjoy Halloween” list.

5 Ways to Lazy Halloween

1. Order a pumpkin-shaped pizza (abandon making it from scratch at this point). You could check around and see if a local pizzeria offers a pumpkin-shaped pizza or order from one of the usual suspects. We always do a Take and Bake from Papa Murphy’s cleverly called, the Jack O'Pizza. It looks like Papa John’s is also in on the action with a Jack-o-lantern pizza.

   

   Hi, it’s me. I’m the pumpkin-shaped pizza.

2. Buy candy from somewhere obscure (hint: the grocery stores run out first; then go to Walgreens or CVS) so you don’t end up passing out any of these horrible candies—the shittiest candies of 2023. See also “The 20 Worst Candies to Hand out to Kids.”

3. Skip carving the pumpkin. A Sharpie will do. Or don’t buy one (see also: me). Yes, the Seasonalist did not buy a pumpkin this year, and everything is fine. Halloween will go on.

4. What? You didn’t buy or make a Pinterest-worthy costume? Here are some At-Home Costume ideas from Seasonal Things.

5. No pumpkin? No costume? No problem. Turn on some music. There’s a playlist for that.

Still too much?

How about Gym, Tan, Laundry, but make it Ghosts, Treats, & Libations

1. Ghosts

   The world’s easiest Halloween craft.

2. Treats

   Buy candy. Eat the candy. See above.

3. Libations

   Pour yourself a glass of wine, enjoy a pumpkin beer, or my favorite mocktail (soda water, splash of cranberry or pineapple juice, and a lime if you have one).

Still Too Much? How about the 3 P’s? Pumpkins, Pizza, Party

1. A pumpkin

2. A frozen pizza

3. A fire pit party (with family, friends, or a party of one). No fire pit? A candle, then.

It’s enough.

Never forget. The original Habit Stackers.

Are you feeling the crunch? What are your last-minute Halloween must-dos? And what candy did you buy?

Happy Halloween!